Lions and Tigers and ... Horses!?

Oh my!

He's a veterinarian and, before we meet, he warns me he might 'smell like animals". What an opening line! Who does that? Who goes to meet a gal, a gal you might want to date, and shows up in suspenders, a frayed t-shirt, with the disclaimer that he might "smell"!? 

As it turns out, he is a veterinarian and a horse breeder. He does not have a date vehicle but drives an old truck that is also his on call vehicle. The smell (you might ask?) is of horses. It seems that a shower is not enough to completely eliminate the odor, especially if the vehicle you are traveling in also smells of horse. And (bada boom, bada bing), he is 68 years old - closer to my mother's age than to mine. I'm pretty sure this is going nowhere, but he is amusing and genuine, and cute. Dinner is lite, and the conversation is loud.. can we say hearing loss?  He tells me about his horses, his life, and his reasons for being online at a dating site...as it turns out, his old girlfriend doesn't want to do it any more... damn!

As the evening wears on, the restaurant gets louder and we end it, with him walking me to my car. It was nice, but despite two follow up phone calls (in one, I asked how he was and he told me he was naked!), I am pretty sure this is going nowhere... call me shallow, but I like to date a man who has a car that is date worthy. I'm pretty sure I am worth that! 


Date number 2 this past week was with the younger man - 62 - cute, sexy, and the owner of two date-worthy cars - the widower! I might have to see him again... he cooks, pours wine, and has great lips..

~A. Tan Gledmess

Slowing Down...

"Friday (Saturday?) night, and I ain't got no money..." seems to be the theme this month. Holidays are upon us again and money is tight... I also "can't get no satisfaction" in the man department. Why is that? I am beginning to suspect it might just be me.. wrong place, wrong time, wrong era...

The last man I saw was the Getaway Man.. remember him? Only this time, he wasn't able to get away as easily.. I was at his place! We have an interesting relationship - given that a relationship is defined as a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings. Indeed, this is what we have.. a state of affairs, occasional dealings. I would like to think of him as a boy-toy, but the truth is, we have become friends.. with benefits.  And, as long as no one falls in love, all will be fine. 

The Vegan Lawyer is history, the Cowboy revisited briefly - primarily he seemed interested in how I could help him reinstate his profile on a dating site, and a date was had with the Fireman! In fact, a week was had with The Fireman, who disappeared when I suggested that perhaps he should have a plan when asking me out on a Friday night. Being the social director is not yet my job. What is that all about? (W?RUFK!?). 

Dinner last Sunday with the widower was pleasant as well and it looks like breakfast this Sunday is a possibility too. Although he has been on his own only a short time, he did suggest that I park my car in his drive rather than walk over (he lives a short distance away) so that we could "give 'em something to talk about" in the neighborhood! I kind of like his sense of humor... maybe, just maybe... 

And, so the beat goes on. I have been actively dating again since last April and have seen approximately 30 men - and no, I am not going back to count them; that just seems like too much work. I am not really discouraged and I am not really surprised. When spitting in the wind, the best one can hope for is to avoid the back-splash, and so far, I seem to be doing a fair job of that! I am thankful for the opportunities I have had thus far to meet interesting men. I am thankful that the weird ones have not been overly weird; and I am thankful that I am still young enough to enjoy the adventure.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends! Don't let the turkeys get you down...










~A. Tan Gledmess 

The Vegan Lawyer..

And what is wrong with this title? Vegan? Lawyer? Somehow I always envision a lawyer as  a carnivore, a predator, a meat eater!

STM's profile was somewhat on the light side. He'd rather not state his income (and after one date, I am apt to believe it is not much), and he is " as much at home in an art gallery as on a hiking trail." I have to say I am not believing that so much either, given the beanie he wears. Beatniks don't usually camp or hike. And, he's only been a vegan for a short time, so he still wears leather shoes and belt.. can't leap too far too fast when you have already spent a number of years on the "10 yard line".. and you have love that - football metaphors from a man who does NOT watch football.

We meet online, and agree to a Sunday evening coffee date, which does turn into a lite fare evening at a little place downtown.. did I mention he does not drink as well?? So, here we are.. I order meat and wine, he orders tea and salad. No cheese, please. Jeesh! But hey, I am trying to drop my shallow thinking and he is, after all, an attorney. I appear to be moving up the food chain. I need to give this a chance... did I mention he never smiled? Not once. Who doesn't smile? I am funny, you know!
 
But, hey, that's not all.. he is also a Quaker... I do wonder about that as Quakers "do not swear oaths" ..don't lawyers have to swear an oath?

Moving on ... date 2 or real date 1; call it what you wish.. remember, I am trying to be fair here.. 
Dinner @ Subway: $12.00
Movie @ Cheap Seats: $7.00
Kiss goodnight: YUCK! 

I'm going back to my normal, shallow self. It's safer that way.

~A. Tan Gledmess

ps: STM stands for Stair Master.. gotta love a guy with a streak of creativity.. and no, I did not ask!

4 Weeks Later...

And I am still a single woman. I would (honestly) like to be surprised by this, but alas, I am not. On the one hand, I am pretty sure that I am still not ready .. not ready to trust my own judgement, much less the judgement of a guy. Secondly, I am pretty sure that the men I am running into these days are more broken than I feel. And, I am not settling for whoever might like/love me. I need to love him, and love him madly. My mother suggests that "at this age" I might need to understand that men are not perfect and that I will not find the perfect man", but I do insist that at this age, I am entitled to the man who is perfect for me. Why settle for less?

Onward and forward we go... dating adventures.. I met the Navy guy earlier this month. We seemed to hit it off.. three dinner dates later, he is Silent Sam. Suddenly I do get an email and he apologizes for "breaking up" via email.. this "relationship is not working for him". I have to admit I am a bit stumped, and I am also pretty sure (since we had the serial dating conversation) that he was/is dating others and simply found someone he liked better.. or conversely was scared of really making a connection with me. Either way, in my mind, three dinner dates does not a relationship make, even when sex is involved. I mean, come on, we are all grownups who grew up in the Age of Aquarius! And, in my gracious response to his break up email, I said so. Thanks for playing.

What is it with my generation? Are we so afraid of broken hearts and broken bank accounts that being in a relationship is unthinkable? And if this is true, why are dating sites so jam packed with guys saying they want a "serious relationship"?

I'm pretty sure women don't lie....

~A. Tan Gledmess

Down On the Farm.. is Down for the Count

And, I do mean down for the count. He had 2 rounds and totally blew it on round 3... asked to find something we might enjoy doing together, he said, and I quote

 I have been thinking about a venue for this evening. I have come to the conclusion that any place that I decide upon is as good as any other, unless you have a preference. I'm thinking Olive Garden, Ruby Tuesday, or a place of your choice. The main thing is that I want to be with you in a venue where we can talk and discuss and plan and enjoy each other and get to know each other, even if it is a Pizza Hut or at your place on opposite sides of the table eating a pizza and knocking back a couple of beers. Life is too short to worry about finding something fascinating to do when the crux of the situation is comparison of our respective realities to determine common ground.

I have to admit, it was that last sentence that caused the knockout! What part of dating is this guy not getting?? Common ground? Comparison of our respective realities? At my place!!?? (Holy INTERROBANG).. is he kidding? Apparently not.. and so she wrote..

I actually do like the idea of finding something fascinating to do or a great place to go/try. I think the adventure and discovery is worth the time and effort that goes into doing a little research to find a great venue. It seems to me you are looking for a situation where you can settle in at once and be done with dates. While I appreciate that, I am not interested in comparing 'respective realities' .. Good luck to you.

 And so it ends.. although I will add that he followed this up with an angry email and an angry phone call. Funny how calling me before was not possible but now it was. And I have to say thank you to my gut. Saved again!! Dating is such tricky business; what I have difficulty understanding is the number of men who merely want to fill the vacancy.. it is no wonder they are divorced - which does not, of course, explain why I am divorced (anyone listening to the irony here?). And what number is this?? Do I really have 20 more dates or more to go?? 

Oy vey!

On the upside, Mr Ca is a lot of fun, and we spent some time together again this weekend. A mid week walk among the dead, followed by Thai food gave way to HIS COOKING of dinner at his place, and, well, you can guess the rest... yum..



~A. Tan Gledmess 

The Fine Art of Juggling...

...and it is a fine art, not for the feint of heart by any means. I am currently dating 2 men and the biggest challenge so far is remembering what I said to whom. And sometimes, I admit, I have fallen to saying honey, dear, or sweetheart because I cannot readily recall a name. It is a darn good thing I am not sleeping (bedding?) with either of them! A weak moment of Oh, Harold! when it should be Dear Bob can be a real downer.. greater than any cold shower. Luckily, that has not happened and one can surely hope it never does.

So.. let's see.. mostly one guy a blog but occasionally two, means I must be at 27 dates, give or take a couple.. 26, for sure.

This week's selection finds me with one man who is only a year or two older than I am. He is a POF guy and from sunny southern California before moving to Pennsylvania about 4 years ago. It's hard to make a long story short, but Mr CA has managed to live through some hard times - sick mom (and her death), divorce, and a crashing stock market - yet he still finds the humor in a situation and can laugh about the absurdities. I kind of like him. Drawbacks here include the fact that he is working 6 days a week to regain some lost ground and lives 76 miles away. Still, we chat online, exchange emails, and are planning a second get-together soon. On the upside, he is truthful about his height - believe it or not, this IS a biggie! So many men say they are 5'9" when they are really 5'4"!! And, his sense of humor is right out there with my own. This is a bit scary at times.


Man number 2 is a farmer and a bus driver.. he lives closer, and is looking for a 'roommate' with benefits. He thinks marriage is pointless, though he does believe it is possible for a woman to give up her home and stuff to move in with him.. and he thinks his children will be generous in the event of his death, therefor he sees no need to offer any safeguards. I'm thinking he is whacked. I have known a number of women who bought that scenario, and are now looking for a way to survive because they counted on him to look out for them. A date for him is an opportunity to see if we have common ground, and to plan for the future. I am unsure of what future he thinks we might have as we have only just met...  Again, I ask.. whatever happened to the fine art of dating!?

So, what have I learned? 
Men of a certain age are not very secure. They certainly have forgotten (if they ever actually knew) how to date. They are lonely and in need of someone (anyone?) to rescue them from themselves. And, some of them are willing to go to great lengths to be in a relationship, any relationship. Men, overall, seem more afraid of suffering than woman are and want to protect themselves from future pain - as if someone can actually do that. The whole dating thing scares them and the sooner they find a mate, the better! They have no idea how to court, date, or play. These men simply want to know if you can fill the void and the need (and cook as well as do laundry). It's almost sad, and many of them put themselves in positions where it is entirely too easy to take advantage of them.. jeesh I wish I had no morals at times!

On the reverse side there are also men who are and have been (no doubt) perpetual players. They protect themselves by using online dating sites in the same way one would use an escort service.. they just want a one night stand. These are the guys with the little black book that we knew so well in our 20's. they never, apparently, outgrew that. Sometimes I do think I relate better to that breed than the can you be my new mommy? type. They seem to want that connection but the fear of being hurt causes them to fill needs and not wants. On the other hand, they do know how to show a lady a good time.. for a while.


And me? Mostly I have learned what I don't want. I don't want a clinger, I don't want a puppy, and I don't want be hoodwinked. Some honesty, some real interest, and some wooing would be a wonderful thing. I still like to think I will know what I want when I see it.. but I also know, I am ok alone... but they got something I need...(I've got that brand new pair of roller skates...)


~A. Tan Gledmess

Bad Dates and No Dates...

Sometimes it is a tough call.. bad date? bad timing? Sometimes it is a no-brainer.. no good time = one very bad date. Tonight's bad date really boiled down to age though. I need a place on my profile to add "if you are on coumadin, please refrain from responding". Men with heart conditions that require copious amounts of blood thinner should probably not be dating a woman like me. So sad really. Judging by the higher pitch of his voice, I am also guessing he is low on testosterone. It would be sad if it weren't so funny.. or is that funny if it weren't so sad? Some days it is a toss up!

How does this happen? Once again, I am back to the dating sites.. I am certainly better at picking my own bad dates than my friends and acquaintances are. And when they really don't work out, I can omit the explaining part too. Mr Shrimp, as he called himself (was that a hint?), arrived in shorts. Having invited me to a restaurant he has visited before, one would think he would know the temperature inside was sub-arctic! He billed himself as age 66, with the mind of 35 year old and the 'body' of a 50 year old. What can I say about this? oh, yea! He lied or else he has a much better mirror than I do!! It turns out he is also recently divorced.. a year ago, after a 44 year marriage that included very little/no intimacy - and no cheating on his or her part! I can only wonder if he is not interested in/not capable of sex. This definitely takes him off my list of prospects. You know, his one concern about living alone had to do with being sick.. no one around to take care of him or to know if he was dead! 

Ah well, there is always Mr E, the nearly 70 year old guy at the bar last week - he looked younger, had more verve and said he "loved my smile".. too bad he is much closer to my mom and dad's age than mine. He did mention he had a 51 year old son.. maybe he could introduce me to him.. hmmmm



~A. Tan Gledmess

Why is HE back in MY world?

Online dating is certainly an adventure. Just when one thinks they have seen most of what it has to offer, life throws in a zinger. POF has decided that one of my matches is **wait for it...** - my ex fiance' - who, by the way, was not actually divorced at the time he asked me to marry him.. Amazingly enough, he is also still 59.. an age he has managed for at least 3 years despite his driver's license listing him as born in 1941! What ever bit of magic does that for a man, I want it too. Holy Smokes!

In all the gin joints, in all the world.. this schmuck ends up in mine? How unfair is that?

Now one might also ask why I am back online, given my almost 3 week adventure with the Set-Up guy.. who by the way is very nice. As it turns out he is too nice.. way too nice.. suffocating-ly nice. He also followed me to the gym... my gym.. and signed in as my guest while I was working out. Who does that? Who just feels it is ok to show up as a guest when one has not been invited? Does 2.5 weeks qualify as a relationship and make that ok!?

Maybe it is me, but either way.. despite the fact that my mother has reminded me that "at (my) age, I should not expect perfect", I strongly feel that at my age I shouldn't have to settle either. 

Life may be good, but today... well, it certainly is throwing me some curves.


~A. Tan Gledmess

nice guys.. and all that jazz?

Oh my, I am having issues... 2 weeks now and I have been dating the same man. And it looks like week 3 will have me doing the same.. the question is why? 

The answer to the question can probably be assumed.. I like him? But, the truth is, I am not sure what I like. I only know this guy is not like any other man I have ever dated, and given my track record, this could be a good thing. Two bad marriages and an almost bad marriage have taught me one thing - and that is that I need to change my habits and date someone out of my usual type. Which brings me to Mr B (the Set-up Man). As you might recall, this man was a blind date set up for me by a woman I met once. And he is nice! A part of me wants to say too nice, but can someone be too nice? Is that like too rich? or too beautiful?

Mr. B is a gentleman.. almost a total gentleman. His hello kiss is a bit over the top, though he is getting the idea that holding back a bit at the initial greeting can be a good thing...  The good night kiss, well is no where close to chaste - in fact, it is pretty hot! He brings flowers, coffee, wine, and other small gifts each time he arrives to pick me up for a date. He bought me a motorcycle helmet so I can ride with him, and if I say something interests me, he makes it happen - trip to DC, dinner and a movie, prices on new tires, an ice wine.. He opens car doors! It's a bit overwhelming, but nothing to complain about I am sure... that said, I don't have a clue as to how to handle this! Oh, and did I mention that he's an Italian? and he likes to cook ... though I have not yet had dinner at his place, or mine! Most surprising - and no one is more surprised than I am: I am holding out... sending him home...  what is THAT all about!?


Is it easier to date the bad guys? The wrong guys? Is it safer to protect oneself that way? My friends tell me to float with this.. to just enjoy it.. and I do like it. Really! It just feels a bit like, well, like living on Mars... 








~A. Tan Gledmess

W?RUFK? The 2 Week Date..

Blind dates are something I have tended to avoid over the past few years, unless (of course) they have been of my own making - online. Dates set up by friends have not been good. In fact, they have been bloody awful - which makes me wonder if I need better friends!! Guy number 1 was years ago, a set up by a woman who used to be my best friend! He invited me out for drinks and dancing. Five minutes into the date, he informed me that he had been ticketed for a DUI - a charge he felt was completely unfair. Though, he admits, he was weaving, it was in his own lane (Bada Bing!). And dancing? Well, as it turns out, dancing makes him sweat and "sweating is not cool". I excused myself to the restroom and found my car on the way. I never returned. Whether he missed me or not is still unclear. I can only feel relief that he never called me again.

Another blind date had me meeting the 'friend of a friend' at a park-n-ride. We said hello, I slid into this car (nice ride too), and he reached over - opening the glove box to reveal quite a beautiful array of drugs! All colors, shapes, and sizes... and though he could not remember what all of them were, he freely offered me my pick... RUFK!? I kindly refused, remembered I could not go out that night after all (darn!) and found my way to my own car. Holy cow! These are the men my friends want me to date. I DO need better friends. 

In fact let's not forget the most recent one who asked me to spend the night and then spent it not touching me. What was that all about!?

But, here I am, dating a Set-Up Man. All I can say to explain myself is that this date was set up by a woman who I had just met, and the guy is Italian... from Brooklyn. And, he can talk like the Godfather..sometimes I am just a sucker for a new adventure...

A year or so ago, a guy I knew in high school , and not well, moved to this area with his wife.  He has been bugging me for some time to join his group of trivia players at a local pub. So, summer is here, I do have time, and my bed time is fairly fluid.. to trivia I went. And there I met Ms R. Ms R is newly married and like all those newly married women I know, she believes in love. And, as it turns out, she has this friend and she believes we might like each other, so... WTH? I said sure. After all, Ms R does not really know me and I don't really know her - no hard feelings if this is a fail - and it might get me out of trivia! The Date is scheduled. We are to meet at the next trivia night - on a Tuesday. We begin at dinner. He sits at one end of the table. I'm at the other. We eye one another a bit, exchange hellos, and then move to the trivia area, where we are seated together.

As it turns out, the S.U.M and I have a lot in common. We know the same songs, agree on the same answers (right or wrong), and he thinks my stories are funny. He does like to talk and like any good Italian, uses his hands a lot - which makes me slightly crazy at times, but he drives a new, fully loaded Mustang.. cherry red. My shallow self is in heaven. He comes bearing gifts - roses, stuffed animals, fresh roasted coffee beans, and buys me (ta-da) a motorcycle helmet! As it turns out he also owns a Harley and would be honored if I would ride with him. I ask you, what's not to like?? He says my wish is his command and so far, he means it... We have an all day date to the city planned and he wants to take me out for a special birthday brunch.. over a week, and going strong... I don't know, faithful reader.. Stay tuned... because despite the good feelings, I started this adventure saying I would do 50 first dates...

One thing I can say however - people who do not know me well are better at arranging dates for me than my own friends are...

~A. Tan Gledmess

Man 17, dates...

...At least I think this is Man 17. I really do need to go back and do a head count.. and yes, I know the pun is, well, punny . This is a man from the pond called Plenty of Fish, and certainly there are plenty of fish in the pond, but I have say that most of them are carp (crap, did I spell that right?).. particularly at this age. Occasionally the one that nails the hook, appears to be a keeper. Man 14 might have turned out to be one of those. Alas, this didn't pan out (yes, I know, another fish pun). Despite a profile that lists him as having average weight, the reality is that if 330+lbs at 6'2" is "average", we are all in trouble! 


It all begins with a message:

hello, I was reading your profile and you look like an interesting individual. Can you tell me more about those tattoos? and where have you traveled (besides your own backyard; after all, he likes "mowing")? I love the picture of you holding that fish.. somehow it is soooo appropriate for this site :D

Actually, I have to admit, I have never written anything that lame nor have I ever received any so bad - well, that's not entirely true...,because there are those wondering:

Do you shave? How adventurous are you? Are you a girl who behaves?

It is sad that at this point in our lives, and by our lives I mean my generation, we have been reduced to bad lines and stupid comments (ok, maybe this is not a reduction, but rather more of the same) to hide our insecurities while everyone laments that people cannot just be honest!  I am finding that it is the most dishonest who make this complaint. ... um, excuse me while I lie... 
But I digress...


A 2 hour phone conversation led to a very nice dinner date that leaked into after dinner drinks, that ended with some real heavy petting.. oooh la-la! The man has very nice lips and can certainly be called handy, if you get my drift. I got home at midnight. No complaints here. Possibility seemed to ooze from this first impression. Date 2 was dinner at his place and a chance to meet the dog.. and watch him play with guns. I'm supposed to be impressed here, and I am.. with the time and money that goes into competition shooting. I have to admit, he has also won some awards. In fact, he has so many awards that it becomes startling obvious that shooting is more than a hobby. It is a way of life, but I am still liking the hands... hmmmm, baby!

Date 3, and yes we are still in week 1, is Sushi, and I do love Sushi. We order a variety of fish - enough, in fact, to feed a third world country. About half of it goes home with him. His dinner for the next two days is covered - or at least should be! We also have a discussion on what he wants and needs from a relationship:

Number 1: he wants a girl to keep him in line - let him know when he is off base and/or needs to be more attentive. 

Number 2: he needs someone who will take him out of his own selfish interests (his words, not mine) and help him to be a better mate - set up movie dates, theater dates, and other things that might interest her. Ok, I'm thinking this is all possible, but how much fun is it to go out with a man who yawns the whole time he is doing something that interests me but not him? And, do I want to play parent? And what is the payback for this? There are always paybacks, and you all know exactly what I mean!

Number 3: he wants a partner to travel with him to shooting matches, gun shows, and gatherings... and by traveling, he means she goes along and is available for some afternoon delight, evening shenanigans, but otherwise can amuse herself (um, yeah.. maybe no)...

Date number 4, for July 4, is confirmed - after all, one may as well play out the whole week! This is the date that determines the future, and as it turns out, the future is not looking bright. It begins with my accepting the date even while my gut says, um, no.. going to the park to meet my own friends is a better idea. It ends with my explaining how I had fun (a lie) but that I am heading home, and no thank you, I'll pass on coming in for a few minutes. We attended a party where he knew three people - and I met all three. We sit alone to eat, to watch the band (no dancing - he only does that in the kitchen) alone, and finally see the private fireworks show that is put on by the host- alone. He doesn't like to talk to folks he doesn't know, and a couple of times hints that he would not object to our finding a quiet place to get it on! RUFK!?


Color me DONE. It was fun and it was interesting, but really? It is no wonder this guy is on a dating site, but holy cow! There must be a site for the man who wants a gal who simply wants a guy...


~A. Tan Gledmess

The Week of the Married Man... Men?

Two men, two different nights. One separated from his wife..by 60 miles, the other by 150. I do understand semantics but when one says he is separated, shouldn't that mean that papers have been filed and new domiciles have been secured? Do women do this too? I imagine they do but I have never really met one. That said, this is the third man on my 50 date journey who is playing the game in name only. Pretty sad actually. What's even sadder is that they think I should help them understand why they are schmucks!

Would-be-bachelor number 1 is Mr Golf: tall, somewhat bald under that ball cap, and pretty charming. He drives a Miata with a trunk so stuffed it is amazing. Oh, and notice the tag.. Mr. Separated by 6o miles is a Boy Scout! The tags say BSA. Go figure! He dances well, talks the talk, and is a great kisser! Really!! However, being so thrifty as to only have one condom on board and then hoping to reuse it before the night is through is a bit of a turnoff (ick!), especially after yours truly has already thrown it in the trash .  That would be a resounding "NO", Mr. G.. I mean really!?
 
Mr RM (Regional Manager) is tall enough with a full head of hair and an ego just as thick. He thinks I am mean because I don't understand and he needs me... this being said while he has his hand on the back of my neck, encouraging me to place my head in his lap..while we are sitting in my car . Can we please say NOT 17 ANYMORE? His wife is also mean  and hates him.. no kidding? A man who fools around on his spouse while he is out of town and he thinks she is mean?? I am so confused. I am also happy to report that I have no idea if he travels with condoms.. I safely extricated myself from his gentle pressure, threw him out of the car with a smile, and drove myself home... one small item left to do..? I need to find those directions for blocking calls.

The beat goes on and on... somewhere along the way I am going to need to take a head count though... is this 15 or 16? and can I really keep doing this? 

~A. Tan Gledmess

Boy Meets Girl...

And, girl meets boy. (date 3)... They touch, they kiss, and they fall into bed together.. you know what happens next, right? Any warm blooded American male or female can rightly make the assumption that more touching, more feeling, and some Oh God!s will be heard (among other things)... but you would be wrong. He turns away, says how nice it is to have her in bed with him, and commences snoring. In the morning, he awakens before she does, quietly gets dressed and finds a seat in the living room, watching tv. WTH!? A perfectly willing naked woman in his bed and he is watching tv?? Someone may need to explain this to me because I certainly don't get it.

A short time later, she gets up.. having realized that he is not coming back to bed. She dresses and finds the living room (and him). A stilted conversation takes place about how she doesn't need to be awake, how he remembers she said she needed coffee before having a conversation in the morning, and how he was simply being nice... (WHAT!?). There is no way to have a conversation on this.. not then, maybe not ever, so after that morning cup of coffee, she finds her way home (What? Where are you going? You don't have to leave...). Damn.. 5am is early! A perfectly good possibility bites the dust because he is not ready, unsure, and trying to be nice.. not like other guys... 
 
I am so confused.. isn't that HER line? When did the tables get turned and what can it all mean?






~A. Tan Gledmess

Lucky 13?

Blind date, last weekend, with Mr Colorado lasted 3 hours +.. seems we had lots to talk about, at least until that question.. the one that starts with what are you looking for...? I hate that question. If I knew that, wouldn't I have found it? Do I want a permanent relationship? (maybe.. can someone define permanent for me??). Do I want a friend with benefits?  That one is a bit easier to define, but can we discuss the benefits first? There is a lot of work that needs doing around this homestead, starting with the water heater! And then perhaps all I want is the one night stand here and there.. All of this simply begs the question of what do you want? and Do we have to discuss this on the first date? Jeesh! Whatever happened to just getting to know one another? When did dating and life become so abbreviated? Is the Rapture really coming and do we need to be hooked up before it gets here!?

Moving on.. I answered the question with enough ambiguity that he is still wondering what it is I want. When he finds out, I hope he'll let me know. In the meantime, we had date 2 and went riding all day.. motorcycle. And what a great day it was for that too.. sun shining, nice breeze, low humidity. The best part is that I could still walk the next day. I am in better shape than I thought!

Four days later, and Mr C calls again.. guess he likes me. We are going out again tomorrow.. lunch with friends (is this like Meet the Parents!?) and then a friendly poker game.. he's going to bank me for the day on the condition I pay back the bank if I win. I don't know what happens if I break even..hmmm. In the meantime, lunch out today netted me a phone number and a future date with the Snap-Lite division manager., a man who understands the importance of batteries and why I needed to make a special trip to town to get some! YES!!

Not sure how old he is, but I do know he is cute, so what they heck! oh yes.. he also has very nice hands.. mmmm ... Stay tuned...

~A. Tan Gledmess

And the Beat Goes On.. W?RUFK!?

Now I know, and you know that this is all about fifty dates.. first dates no less. And, I have to admit that I have been remiss about keeping track, which means that backtracking will be necessary for me to state the current status of this adventure. In the meantime, I am also having some repeat dates, and one of those occurred this past week. I had second date with the bloodhound, aka The Cowboy. You might recall him as the guy whose tongue sought to remove my cavities.. from my mouth! Although I decided I would go out with him again - after all everyone deserves a second chance - I did not say I would allow kissing to take place again. And although I did relent on this, I can say that he also maintained some restraint. Thank goodness!

We went to the carnival. Music seems to be the theme of our dating adventures. And it began with me meeting him at his place, as it was closer to the carnival grounds and I was hoping to get a glimpse of how he he lives. And, OH MY! First of all, he has this huge dog and he likes to sleep ON cars.. not in them, not next to them, ON them! And when we returned he was on the car.. luckily for all concerned, it was not MY car! 

Back to the house.. the house is definitely a fixer upper, and he is fixer upper kind of guy. Cherry wood floors are found throughout the place, and although they need some finishing work, they sure do look nice. Bedrooms abound.. upstairs on opposite ends of the house and one downstairs. Air conditioners are located in each one, but only operating in one of them. And no, I did not stay the night or try out the bed. On the whole, it can be said that the place has character - from the muddy, bumpy lane going in, to the house itself. And although I am impressed with the work and time this humble abode requires, I cannot, with any stretch of my imagination, envision myself living in anything like it. It gives country a whole new meaning! Oh, and it did smell like dog (hot dog)! And did I mention that he was also hot - and sweaty!? What was I thinking!?

But the beat does go on and last night I got a call from Mr Colorado. He is the BIL (brother-in-law) of another friend and has recently moved to town. We are meeting for drinks and a bite on Friday night - a bona-fide blind date! We spoke briefly on the phone last night, and he does laugh well and seems to be the considerate type. Despite my giving him a couple of openings, he chose to be the gentleman and refrained from responding in kind.. hmnmm; no doubt this is yet another adventure waiting to happen. 

Stay tuned...

~A. Tan Gledmess

aNiMAl FArM.. RUFK!?

It has certainly been a strange and somewhat adventurous two weeks! And, that, dear reader, is why I am behind on postings. Bear with me.. or should I say we will snake our way around this story? Bad puns, and I apologize now for any others that might leak into this post. 

Last weekend was the weekend of the Rapture. As you know, during the Rapture, those of us who were deemed worthy were to be taken above, naked (or is that nekkid?) to be rewarded for our goodness. I am not good.. at least not in the traditional sense. I am, after all, still here. The animals in my kingdom apparently thought otherwise and a few came to check in on me, maybe even move in. Visitor number 1 was the House Spider. It is actually poisonous, but not too fast. I was able to capture it and place it under glass until I drank that first cup of coffee. The it died.. bug spray. Wonderful stuff.

Visitor number 2 was a snake. Just a common King Snake, also known as a Black Snake or a Rat Snake. Pretty common guy in these parts, although this one was pretty long. He/She decided to invade my patio area as I was also invading the patio for lunch. The snake won that round. I ate inside.

Visitor number 3 was the cutest of them all.. the red fox! This one was deadly! I'd bet my left foot he was rabid. Daylight and foxes are not usually friends, and given their shyness, standing outside my door, staring at me ranks right up there with odd behavior. The only explanation I have for a skinny red fox, standing at my door in bright sunlight is a sick mind! And this, dear reader, brings us up to speed on my newest dating adventure with the Super.. super crazy guy, that is! 

The Super is from D.C., and is Distinctly Crazy. We met online, of course, and he seemed normal.. whatever normal is these days. We met for dinner. He still seemed normal.. funny, smart enough, complimentary - said being with me made him feel smarter (was that a clue??). The good night kiss was pretty nice as well. And then it all went to hell.. beginning with the non stop text messages telling me how great I was and how this was meant to be - the three words that will always run a chill up my spine. But, hey, I'm a fair gal and I thought I'd sleep on this. Given my history, I thought maybe, just maybe, I needed to change my expectations a tad and accept that I am a fabulous person that brings out the best in someone.

The next morning I woke early, well rested, and thought, you know, maybe this will work out. And bing, a text message appears on my computer screen! Magic? Fat chance! 

How did I sleep? Did I miss him yet? Did I know how wonderful I am? 

 It was getting to be a bit much and I politely and laughingly (LOL) asked him to take it easy and back up a little. He apologized and signed off. This occurred again later that evening as well, and then into Monday morning. Once again, asking for a reprieve from the non stop adulation, I was accused of DRAMA and he said he

didn't need it, and that he would not be contacting me again.. 

WOW! What did I miss!? Ask a guy to stop complimenting me every 2 minutes, and I am the drama queen!  My next thought was Phew! Another crazy one bites the dust. But he was back again on Tuesday morning! and again on Tuesday night!.. via text messaging.. asking me to  

bear with him  and to understand as he works his way through this.  After all, something brought us together..

um, yea.. a website! The Super is now super blocked - no more emails, no more texts, and no more phone calls. Another crazy guy off my list and further confirmation that a girl should never doubt her gut.


On the upside.. I had another date with the IT guy.. wonder, wonder who... or is that where (?) this is going.. hmmmm. I do like the IT guy.. do you think he could be it as well? I'm pretty sure it is still too soon to tell!


~A. Tan Gledmess

Date with the Cowboy.. ooh boy!

Too much cologne and hard of hearing.. and the kiss good night was a bit over the top.. ...  nothing smooth going on there, dammit! Grabbed my head and neck and cleaned my cavities! Holy Cow!! I am really trying to be a good sport and not a snob, but really? By 60, should we not know how to kiss a gal good night?

Ah well, we can't win them all, and I did begin blogging by saying this was about 50 first dates. I am going to have to go back and do a head count.. yes, I said that.. a head count! Truth is, I have not and am not sleeping with them all, and cannot comment directly on the heads...(wink, wink). Moving on....

The weekend has come and almost gone with no new adventures, but certainly an old one has taken a turn. The Musical Motorcycle Man (3M?) has some sticky issues.. most of which are of his own making. They run the risk, however, of becoming mine when the roommate turns out to be a GF after all and is not happy about a rainy day bike ride.. seems, she thinks, we have this in common and wants to friend me.. I don't think so! I can only think it is a good thing he has defriended me! Who really needs the drama? And as much as I would like this to be an interrobang moment, it is not. It is only sad. Where have all the back bones gone, long time passing..  Seems to me that they have just disappeared. How did this happen!? Honesty seems to be passing too.. sad, just sad.

So what is going on with middle aged men these days? They seem to be of a couple of types.. in for the sex, having forgotten that the Age of Aquarius is long over,  or running scared - please don't hurt me! Then there are the marry me/live with  me group who only want to know someone will do their laundry and maybe cook them a good meal. Oh, and let us not forget the I have kids who need a mother group... But wait, I need a mother too!
 

I'm sure I no longer know what normal is, other than a town in IL; and if this is it for men.. I am more than a little worried...

~A. Tan Gledmess