Man 17, dates...

...At least I think this is Man 17. I really do need to go back and do a head count.. and yes, I know the pun is, well, punny . This is a man from the pond called Plenty of Fish, and certainly there are plenty of fish in the pond, but I have say that most of them are carp (crap, did I spell that right?).. particularly at this age. Occasionally the one that nails the hook, appears to be a keeper. Man 14 might have turned out to be one of those. Alas, this didn't pan out (yes, I know, another fish pun). Despite a profile that lists him as having average weight, the reality is that if 330+lbs at 6'2" is "average", we are all in trouble! 


It all begins with a message:

hello, I was reading your profile and you look like an interesting individual. Can you tell me more about those tattoos? and where have you traveled (besides your own backyard; after all, he likes "mowing")? I love the picture of you holding that fish.. somehow it is soooo appropriate for this site :D

Actually, I have to admit, I have never written anything that lame nor have I ever received any so bad - well, that's not entirely true...,because there are those wondering:

Do you shave? How adventurous are you? Are you a girl who behaves?

It is sad that at this point in our lives, and by our lives I mean my generation, we have been reduced to bad lines and stupid comments (ok, maybe this is not a reduction, but rather more of the same) to hide our insecurities while everyone laments that people cannot just be honest!  I am finding that it is the most dishonest who make this complaint. ... um, excuse me while I lie... 
But I digress...


A 2 hour phone conversation led to a very nice dinner date that leaked into after dinner drinks, that ended with some real heavy petting.. oooh la-la! The man has very nice lips and can certainly be called handy, if you get my drift. I got home at midnight. No complaints here. Possibility seemed to ooze from this first impression. Date 2 was dinner at his place and a chance to meet the dog.. and watch him play with guns. I'm supposed to be impressed here, and I am.. with the time and money that goes into competition shooting. I have to admit, he has also won some awards. In fact, he has so many awards that it becomes startling obvious that shooting is more than a hobby. It is a way of life, but I am still liking the hands... hmmmm, baby!

Date 3, and yes we are still in week 1, is Sushi, and I do love Sushi. We order a variety of fish - enough, in fact, to feed a third world country. About half of it goes home with him. His dinner for the next two days is covered - or at least should be! We also have a discussion on what he wants and needs from a relationship:

Number 1: he wants a girl to keep him in line - let him know when he is off base and/or needs to be more attentive. 

Number 2: he needs someone who will take him out of his own selfish interests (his words, not mine) and help him to be a better mate - set up movie dates, theater dates, and other things that might interest her. Ok, I'm thinking this is all possible, but how much fun is it to go out with a man who yawns the whole time he is doing something that interests me but not him? And, do I want to play parent? And what is the payback for this? There are always paybacks, and you all know exactly what I mean!

Number 3: he wants a partner to travel with him to shooting matches, gun shows, and gatherings... and by traveling, he means she goes along and is available for some afternoon delight, evening shenanigans, but otherwise can amuse herself (um, yeah.. maybe no)...

Date number 4, for July 4, is confirmed - after all, one may as well play out the whole week! This is the date that determines the future, and as it turns out, the future is not looking bright. It begins with my accepting the date even while my gut says, um, no.. going to the park to meet my own friends is a better idea. It ends with my explaining how I had fun (a lie) but that I am heading home, and no thank you, I'll pass on coming in for a few minutes. We attended a party where he knew three people - and I met all three. We sit alone to eat, to watch the band (no dancing - he only does that in the kitchen) alone, and finally see the private fireworks show that is put on by the host- alone. He doesn't like to talk to folks he doesn't know, and a couple of times hints that he would not object to our finding a quiet place to get it on! RUFK!?


Color me DONE. It was fun and it was interesting, but really? It is no wonder this guy is on a dating site, but holy cow! There must be a site for the man who wants a gal who simply wants a guy...


~A. Tan Gledmess