I've been on a fence for the past few weeks.. to write about the great break up or not (that is the question), but a barrage of texts this morning make me believe the titles Pete and Repeat or What was I Thinking were holding me up. The man who wanted me to give up dating and writing about it has dumped me, but I did not dump on him as a result. I'm not sure I ever blame the other guy. After all, the common denominator is me. Given the barrage of texts I received this morning, he does, however, think I am (he is?) blaming him, and spreading vile information about him as well.
What is that all about?
His texts indicate he also believes my moral compass is askew.. you see, I have not yet returned his shoes. 
The plain and ugly truth? This is not his fault. Nor do I believe it is mine. It simply is. I certainly do deserve some blame here though. I could have left well enough alone; after all I am the one that opened the can of worms. I did call him and invite him back into my life. That whole closure stuff is way overrated.
What was I thinking?
Remind me to never, ever do that again! I know now why we never made a permanent thing of it long ago and far away. We are just too different in our approaches to life and living. I am living out loud and he lives quietly, surreptitiously undercover. Certainly not a match made in heaven.. though it could be one in hell. I can, however, safely and confidently say it was fun.. again.. while it lasted.
And yes, I am dating again. Heck, why not? I still enjoy meeting new people and trying new things.. though I am currently unsure about how many more new things there are out there. Well meaning friends tell me that Mr Right-For-Me is out there,.. well maybe he is and maybe he is not. I am not looking for that. Marriage is a nice idea. Not sure it is the option I should be choosing anytime soon or late(r). I make a pretty good single woman when all is said and done. I don't come with instructions and that gets pretty confusing for the men I meet. 
So, for now.. let it be known it is not his fault and that I shall not look back again. It was fun. It was wild. And life goes on... speaking of which, I had a dinner date last night.. it was a bit like deja vu... and as it turns out, for good reason! He and I also dated before.. only once to my recollection. I was so impressive too - he has absolutely no memory of it whatsoever (at least as near as I can tell). Maybe this should be called Pete and Repeat. I need to keep better lists.
As always,
~A. Tan Gledmess
ps... I do plan to mail back the shoes, if only to keep my moral compass straight...
I think he sounds insecure, making it about his returned shoes and your blogging about 'him'. Is he so intensley private that anything you write about him is a "barrage of vile information"? Come on, grow up....Mike is very private and a cops son to boot so he hates my putting anything out there about him. I do get that but only to a certain point as it's not all bad right? He almost sounds paranoid and pissed off, texting you endlessly. Tell him to come get his shoes, have one last bang (if he was any good LOL) and move on.
ReplyDeleteDate on and enjoy every 2nd of it. I say too that your writings and muses would be really appealing to a mass audience. Go Kim Go! You're too good not to ;)
SHR
Oh he certainly is insecure and really i don't see why. But Hey, i did my time with a crazy man...he's called an ex husbandfor a good reason. There's an angry, angry man lurking behind Mr. T's eyes. I need to stay clear. I did actually leave the shoes out for him, but my dad found them and brought them back to the house... LoL.
ReplyDeleteAs to the rest, I'm waiting to be found ;)