Fanning the Flames...

The definition of insanity that I like best includes doing things the same old way and expecting new results. I can certainly attest to the fact that, in my life, doing things the same way has mostly resulted in the same endings.. though,the details in between beginnings and endings have been interesting and varied, the end result was me. Alone. Unsatisfied. Incomplete. 

I am trying something new. I made the call. I stuck my neck out. I am taking a chance and putting myself out there. He could have ignored me. He could have let it all go... but...

he called me back and, after the call, found me on Facebook. I gave him carte blanch to my Facebook wall.. and there he has access to this blog as well as another one I have been writing, Beginning at the End. This is certainly new territory for me. And, I have an idea as to how he may react to it all... It could be I am completely blowing a great possibility by revealing too much about me. But, you know, secrets are hard to keep and usually get found out. Perhaps it is better to put it all out there, up front. Take the plunge.. and give him the chance to take it too, if he likes. Dive once more into that deep end of the very warm pool..

The flame.. never quite went out. It was put on hold. For a lot of years. By me.  At the time, I wanted

 an opportunity to meet someone who would love me so much they would put everything on the line. I wanted to see if there was, by chance, someone out there who would want to marry me. 

Six years later, I haven't met that guy - or, to rephrase that - I haven't found a guy I want to marry. I already had what I wanted, I just didn't know it at the time. You never know what you've lost until it's gone? Maybe.

Today, I am happy to end the grand 50 First Dates experiment. I want to do 50 gasps, as he touches my skin, holds my hand in his. I want the 50 Oh. My. God.s as he takes me to those places that only he has been able to take me. I want 50 of those kisses.. all over. I want 50 whispered conversations deep in the night. I want 50 times that 50 and more. I want to be held, I want to hold. I want to trust. I want to take a chance again - with my heart and soul, and trust his heart, his soul, and
                                                      other delicious parts of his delightful body... 

And, do you know what is really awesome? He wants it too ...

Sincerely, and gratefully yours,

A. Tan Gledmess....  

 ~every reader, every supporter has been a very important part of this experiment. I thank you for your commentsm and participation, your eyes and minds. I may be insane, but I am not there alone  :)