Renewable Resources..

Yes, indeed, the world does go 'round and things do circle back. This week alone I have heard from 7 men I used to date. My question is this: if I am so memorable, why am I not keep-able!? Truthfully, though, there is only one in the bunch I would truly want to be kept by, and one other who is still under consideration.

Call Back # 1 was the Separated by 100 miles guy... who says he is now really separated. Call Back #2 is the Get-Away Man.. saw him last night too. Nice man. No self confidence. Going nowhere with me... Call Back # 3 is the one I'd like to CALL BACK, but he is ensconced in a romance with a woman who is not sleeping with him or having sex with him - he remembers me fondly and delightfully, and just wanted to say hello and tell me how fantastic I am (was!?).. RUFK!? Just step up to the plate, my good man - and I do mean GOOD.. dump her, pick up me!

Call Back # 4 came for a visit and made dinner.. well done, sir, even if you are still working 6 days a week and will never really have time for a relationship - more true because you live 70 miles away. Yippee. Next on the agenda are two (Plenty of) Fish I threw back to the pond. One was very nice - frayed pants and all; the other was just a buffoon - given his message to me this week, he still is.

Last but not least, I have heard again from the Philanthropist.  
And we have a date tonight - while he is here for the weekend ... if only he didn't live in Canada..

More to come (or is that cum?),

~A. Tan Gledmess
ps - we both came  

And the Beat Goes On..

So, one day dumped, the next week I get calls and instant messages from men I used to date... What's up with that!? I have to admit there is a certain amount of redemption there. It means that they all come back and the most recent head case will be back one day too. I can honestly say that in the midst of all this, I played fair and honestly. A small part of me hopes to say sorry for your luck while the bigger part wants to say I understand.

One man who showed up again, the Get-Away Man, told me he felt he had "blown it".. and indeed he had, but we are still on good terms and enjoy each other's company here and there along the way. Then there was the Man on the Lake.. he was the IT guy in an earlier post. And, though he has had a GF for the past year (which means they met about the same time we did), he still sends me an instant message, telling me how wonderful our time was together, and that, although he is currently still involved with that other woman, he "thinks of (me) fondly". yay.. what does one say to that!? And we all remember the fiance' and although he has not reared his disgraceful head, another one has stepped up to the plate.

Awakening earlier on a Sunday than any sane person should do on a weekend, I had time on my hands and decided to do a little research on that Great Date .. the man in the last post. Low and behold, he is NOT 59, he is 76. How do I not notice that?? All I can say is that age, with men, is trickier to discern than it is with women. And, separated means 20 miles - the distance from his house to the restaurant. Now, I get that his wife has not turned out the way he hoped. I wonder if he knows his wife probably thinks the same about him.. hmmm.. but, if you are going to step out on her, at least don't fake out the honest women. I'm pretty certain there are women out there who only want you for your money or the dinners out and have no intention of forming any kind of bond with you. GO. FIND. THEM. Leave me alone. Despite the fact that I did not point out to him what I had learned, he obviously had a change of heart anyway. I have not heard from him since. Yippee.

All is not lost, though. I have a rendezvous with the Philanthropist this weekend, and next weekend another beau is coming to call and we may well spend the day in DC, a place he has never been and a place I am getting to know better. A band member at a local establishment flirted with me this evening - and the thought of going back to hear him play has crossed my mind!

I am alive. I am memorable - and in a good way - even if I am not seen as permanent relationship material. The only conclusions I can draw is that A) men need bigger balls, and B) I am worth the time.. so step it up. Life is too short to waste it on those who have no trust in them selves. I am worth it.

As always,

~A. Tan Gledmess

When You Fall Off a Horse...

..you're supposed to get back on. But what does one do when one keeps falling off horses? Find a new animal? Can I ride a bull? A goat? How do you mend a broken heart? 

Maybe I should have titled this The Bitter and the Sweet,.. the bitter is that I have already been replaced. I had to call the CO today to find out if he had a piece I need for my wireless receiver .. yesterday was so nice, I wanted to listen to my tunes outdoors. Turns out he did. Turns out he also has a new paramour. So much for love. I was told that to stop by would be "awkward", but as I wanted the missing part, he could meet me outside. SHE drives an SUV. Guess that puts her a cut above me. SHE probably also has a dog or two. Ah, to be dumped is a sad thing. To be replaced so easily is sadder yet. Which brings me to the sweet...

First of all, my rule was/is a good one. Never date the newly single. That code has been solidified. I was only his first after years and years of marriage. And, given that I am so easily replaced, I can feel confident that moving on is the right direction for me. No waiting for him to come to his senses (given that he may or may not have any!). I have heard many times that you cannot help who you love, the heart knows what it wants... but apparently some can fake it pretty well. What does it mean? What do people really mean when the say "I love you"!? Do they mean I am afraid to be alone?  Or I am horny as hell and need to get laid? Certainly it is not about love, because real love works around problems and seeks solutions.

After years and years of this nonsense.. and it does seem fairly non-nonsensical for me, I am ready to throw in the towel. Somewhere inside me, finding love and finding the happily-ever-after still seems possible, but I am pretty sure it is not in the stars for me.. so I am back to dating for the sake of dating, sex for the sake of an orgasm, and no more words of love. Some of you will tell me to not give up. Some will say that it will walk into my life when I least expect it. Some of you will be disappointed in this post - as there is no humor involved... But the sweet part is I still have me, my heart, my soul, and my self esteem - intact. The bruises will heal, the scrapes will mend; and in the end, I will have some great stories to tell!

And until next time... I am..

A. Tan Gledmess...

ps.. a small piece of me wanted to leave a note on her car, a note that said "he gave me herpes.. make him wear a condom!".. all of which is a lie, but it would have made me feel a little better 

a Series of Unfortunate Events..

the kiss off card

Beginning with the breakup... and I paid for the dinner. Shit happens, doesn't it? I wonder if there is a limit as to how much one person is supposed to clean up, but so far, mine has not been reached. The romance of the year has ended and the ship has sailed. So many cliche's to explain such events. Moving on seems to be the best course of action.

Things come in threes I am told, both good and bad. I have to admit, that a specialty in bad stuff showing up in threes is more my game than having the good fall in my lap. Over the past 7 days, I have received a letter from my boss expressing concern - once again - about my voice (not what I say or how I say it, but rather a certain quality to it), a kiss off (well, not actually a kiss) from the guy who said he loved me and wanted me to move in and be his woman, and now, the hot water heater.. somehow that last part seems apropos. My world has gone cold. Had to turn the furnace off last night too as the hot water from the boiler feeds the water heater and when one goes bad, the other suffers as well. One stroke of good luck was the gas company delivering propane for my fire logs.. I had heat even if it did require a night on the couch in order to stay warm. Did I mention that after an early warm wave, the temps dropped back to a normal 30 something for March?

Holy Cow!

Back to the kiss off... over the years I have broken things off with men and have had some of them drop me like a bad egg, but this one was certainly a surprise. Two days after being told I was loved and that he adored looking at me, I was told that having a job (mine) was a detriment. He was beginning to see himself as a "man servant, a wife, a (insert expletive here)..". Pretty offensive words for all those women (myself included) who have spent time at home caring for a family - the working husband included. Being retired means he is now the one at home and since I work, this position leaves him feeling like he is obligated to be the homemaker. And, I, of course, am responsible for that. You gotta love when a conversation takes place without your knowledge and you are still responsible for what the other person thinks you are thinking... holy cow! A mind reader, I am not.. and reading mine is dangerous - even for me some days. For the record I have never asked for the dinners I was invited over to share and have not left stuff to be picked up as I moved from his bed to my job. Moving in was not suggested by me.. and I take no responsibility for any assumptions made - real or imagined...

All that said - facts are facts. I work. And, I will continue to work until someone assures me a retirement package that keeps me in a reasonable style or offers me millions of dollars to live that life I know I was always intended to have.. tropical island and all... until then, I am still...

..A. Tan Gledmess ...  a single woman on a single journey..