Dating site memberships are coming to the end of their contracts and the time to determine what I am doing is on the table.. it does get discouraging. As easy as it is to make light of it all and fun of many of them, the truth is I am beginning to wonder what the point of it all might be .. after all, toys are mildly satisfying and sometime more satisfying than the men I am meeting. UGh.. when did sex become such drudgery and so vanilla? A little flavoring is always nice - some fudge, caramel, cherries and nuts spice up a Sundae, why not allow a little crazy in the door? I blame novels for this - the pitfalls of enjoying novels filled with erotic smut, I suppose. This summer I get to blame Shades of Gray - the trilogy. Hot steamy sex.. I like that. need it. want it. Even the men I am meeting are not into it these days. What happened to the joy of lovemaking anyway? I absolutely refuse to believe I am too old for this!
After informing Mr In and Out that hickies are off the table, there has been absolute silence - though I can see he is still looking at me online. God bless dating sites that let you know who the voyeurs are .. and one would think if a man looks at you numerous times, saying hello would simply be the polite thing to do. On the other hand, we have Mr Meet and Great who acts like the starving puppy - afraid that he must charge right in - cave man style (or is that bulldozer?) and shove into me over and over again - never saying a word and then wondering why A) I am not responding and B) he is not getting off.. or is that old age?? He can't let it fly like he once did but also lacks the stamina for the long haul. Sad to say, all I can think about lately is that there is all that mess for nada,, such a shame. If there was something in me - willing and able to be the counselor, the sex therapist, I could maybe deal with it all, but alas, I simply want to be ravaged and enthralled. Too much to hope for I suppose.., though there have been a few that really rocked my world. And I have discovered that men who play with guns seem to have a bit more verve! They have spoiled me, to be sure. I want that.. too much to ask? | |
| can we say NO! NO! |
So, how do I order a man? This strikes me as a little more than simply a mail order bride.. I want great, eye popping, fireworks yielding, wet, gushing sex along with hand holding, cuddles on the couch and comfortable silences.. seems like an easy request, doesn't it? And I wish I could advertise it.. but alas, simple minded creatures that most men appear to be, they see only the sex and think whore with no payments.. ok, maybe a dinner and some flowers. And can we schedule a night- date night (Wednesdays) and weekends, and usually my place - saves them from cooking and cleaning I suppose. I might even feel better about this if they paid the bills. Was I always meant to be the kept mistress? Is this what I was in a previous life? Perhaps this is simply the rambling of a woman awake way past her usual bedtime. After all, if I am going to be up after 2am, I should be having more fun!
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| out side the box |
So, the beat either goes on or it ends.. and I drift gracefully into celibacy.. wish I was better at that to be sure..
any words of advice there, faithful readers? I seem to have hit a slump....
As always,
A. Tan Gledmess
