Renewable Resources..

Yes, indeed, the world does go 'round and things do circle back. This week alone I have heard from 7 men I used to date. My question is this: if I am so memorable, why am I not keep-able!? Truthfully, though, there is only one in the bunch I would truly want to be kept by, and one other who is still under consideration.

Call Back # 1 was the Separated by 100 miles guy... who says he is now really separated. Call Back #2 is the Get-Away Man.. saw him last night too. Nice man. No self confidence. Going nowhere with me... Call Back # 3 is the one I'd like to CALL BACK, but he is ensconced in a romance with a woman who is not sleeping with him or having sex with him - he remembers me fondly and delightfully, and just wanted to say hello and tell me how fantastic I am (was!?).. RUFK!? Just step up to the plate, my good man - and I do mean GOOD.. dump her, pick up me!

Call Back # 4 came for a visit and made dinner.. well done, sir, even if you are still working 6 days a week and will never really have time for a relationship - more true because you live 70 miles away. Yippee. Next on the agenda are two (Plenty of) Fish I threw back to the pond. One was very nice - frayed pants and all; the other was just a buffoon - given his message to me this week, he still is.

Last but not least, I have heard again from the Philanthropist.  
And we have a date tonight - while he is here for the weekend ... if only he didn't live in Canada..

More to come (or is that cum?),

~A. Tan Gledmess
ps - we both came  

And the Beat Goes On..

So, one day dumped, the next week I get calls and instant messages from men I used to date... What's up with that!? I have to admit there is a certain amount of redemption there. It means that they all come back and the most recent head case will be back one day too. I can honestly say that in the midst of all this, I played fair and honestly. A small part of me hopes to say sorry for your luck while the bigger part wants to say I understand.

One man who showed up again, the Get-Away Man, told me he felt he had "blown it".. and indeed he had, but we are still on good terms and enjoy each other's company here and there along the way. Then there was the Man on the Lake.. he was the IT guy in an earlier post. And, though he has had a GF for the past year (which means they met about the same time we did), he still sends me an instant message, telling me how wonderful our time was together, and that, although he is currently still involved with that other woman, he "thinks of (me) fondly". yay.. what does one say to that!? And we all remember the fiance' and although he has not reared his disgraceful head, another one has stepped up to the plate.

Awakening earlier on a Sunday than any sane person should do on a weekend, I had time on my hands and decided to do a little research on that Great Date .. the man in the last post. Low and behold, he is NOT 59, he is 76. How do I not notice that?? All I can say is that age, with men, is trickier to discern than it is with women. And, separated means 20 miles - the distance from his house to the restaurant. Now, I get that his wife has not turned out the way he hoped. I wonder if he knows his wife probably thinks the same about him.. hmmm.. but, if you are going to step out on her, at least don't fake out the honest women. I'm pretty certain there are women out there who only want you for your money or the dinners out and have no intention of forming any kind of bond with you. GO. FIND. THEM. Leave me alone. Despite the fact that I did not point out to him what I had learned, he obviously had a change of heart anyway. I have not heard from him since. Yippee.

All is not lost, though. I have a rendezvous with the Philanthropist this weekend, and next weekend another beau is coming to call and we may well spend the day in DC, a place he has never been and a place I am getting to know better. A band member at a local establishment flirted with me this evening - and the thought of going back to hear him play has crossed my mind!

I am alive. I am memorable - and in a good way - even if I am not seen as permanent relationship material. The only conclusions I can draw is that A) men need bigger balls, and B) I am worth the time.. so step it up. Life is too short to waste it on those who have no trust in them selves. I am worth it.

As always,

~A. Tan Gledmess

When You Fall Off a Horse...

..you're supposed to get back on. But what does one do when one keeps falling off horses? Find a new animal? Can I ride a bull? A goat? How do you mend a broken heart? 

Maybe I should have titled this The Bitter and the Sweet,.. the bitter is that I have already been replaced. I had to call the CO today to find out if he had a piece I need for my wireless receiver .. yesterday was so nice, I wanted to listen to my tunes outdoors. Turns out he did. Turns out he also has a new paramour. So much for love. I was told that to stop by would be "awkward", but as I wanted the missing part, he could meet me outside. SHE drives an SUV. Guess that puts her a cut above me. SHE probably also has a dog or two. Ah, to be dumped is a sad thing. To be replaced so easily is sadder yet. Which brings me to the sweet...

First of all, my rule was/is a good one. Never date the newly single. That code has been solidified. I was only his first after years and years of marriage. And, given that I am so easily replaced, I can feel confident that moving on is the right direction for me. No waiting for him to come to his senses (given that he may or may not have any!). I have heard many times that you cannot help who you love, the heart knows what it wants... but apparently some can fake it pretty well. What does it mean? What do people really mean when the say "I love you"!? Do they mean I am afraid to be alone?  Or I am horny as hell and need to get laid? Certainly it is not about love, because real love works around problems and seeks solutions.

After years and years of this nonsense.. and it does seem fairly non-nonsensical for me, I am ready to throw in the towel. Somewhere inside me, finding love and finding the happily-ever-after still seems possible, but I am pretty sure it is not in the stars for me.. so I am back to dating for the sake of dating, sex for the sake of an orgasm, and no more words of love. Some of you will tell me to not give up. Some will say that it will walk into my life when I least expect it. Some of you will be disappointed in this post - as there is no humor involved... But the sweet part is I still have me, my heart, my soul, and my self esteem - intact. The bruises will heal, the scrapes will mend; and in the end, I will have some great stories to tell!

And until next time... I am..

A. Tan Gledmess...

ps.. a small piece of me wanted to leave a note on her car, a note that said "he gave me herpes.. make him wear a condom!".. all of which is a lie, but it would have made me feel a little better