W?RUFK
Adventures in dating... part I
Don't get me wrong, this is not and has not been the first date of my single life. I have been single a long time after a marriage of only 11 long years. During my single years I made a conscious decision to be the dating mom rather than Mom the Madonna .. and no, not the pointy chest one.. she was not in my radar range during those first years.. but I digress. I promised you an adventure, so here goes...
Date one was initiated by one of us. I am no longer exactly clear on who made the first move. For a number of months, I have been perusing a dating site called Plenty of Fish.. fishing, if you will pardon the pun, for a date or two. I mean, really - where does one meet single men these days? It is 2011 after all. Bars are out and the comfort of my own home and computer is in. I can drink and not drive, and besides, this is one way to see if the man can spell, use punctuation, and share a coherent thought in writing. Mr SC can do all of those things, and I have to say this is pretty impressive on a site that lets you score for free.
We wrote some snippets back and forth, exchanged phone numbers. I discovered he had a FB page; I did not friend him. I was able, however, to discover we had a mutual friend! Another woman. My inquiry as to how he knew this person led to full disclosure: they had been lovers! OH OH OH.. was I brazen enough to email her and find out, as he professed, that he was indeed a great and grand lover?(Interrobang - please!)? A man in touch (his words not mine) with the needs of a woman?! HS! I have to wonder if there are books with pick up lines like this one... I did not send an inquiry, but no doubt a chance meeting later will lead to a discussion on this!
We agreed to meet for drinks the next cold evening. Seems he has a boat and prefers to spend the night there when the temps are not too cold.. a little clue to a man of means without having to ask for the resume and bank statement up front. Nice. Two days later, an email.. am I available? Phone calls are so last decade, you know?
Eight pm.. drive to a mutually agreeable place. Flatterer that he is, I am informed I look better than my pics and he is getting a rise from our meeting (be still my heart!) an
d what would I think about moving the conversation to my place/his place/any place with a bed(interrobang please!)!?. I, being of sound mind and temperament, take this as the compliment it is intended to be, endure a monologue on women's attitudes toward sex that have been programmed for centuries, smile and nod as I am expected to, and ask (politely): does this work? Does telling a woman all these things actually get them to go to bed with you on the first date?? (um, no - he says). I smile and suggest a new schtick might be called for here.. hmmmmAnd, we move on.. me to my car and he to his.. after some mild groping in the parking lot (involving the apex of my thighs), HS!, I enter the vehicle (my own.. duh!) and realize that I have now reached the age where I am amused rather than offended! When did THAT happen (interrobang please!)!? I am actually on the verge of a chuckle.. and yet, still glad I have been getting to the gym! If I am going to get groped, I may as well feel firm - you know what I mean?
It seems that today, it is important to know if one is sexually compatible before embarking on getting to know one another.. after all, what would be the point of spending all that time learning about one another if we end up lousy in bed? And silly me.. I wonder how this is different than the spiel I heard at 17.. oh yea, better vocabulary!
Did toys get played with last night?
Enjoyed your company
Um, gee.. can I ignore this too? Sure I can! The man has a boat! My response is polite and bit demure (check out definition 2)... and now the end must be near, after all, this is a man of power and influence and I am not getting it... but NO! Another email - 2 days later- and he wants to know...
Are we in a consummating mood tonight? um.. well.. gee... Really?! Shall I tell you what I did next or can you guess!?
~A Tan Gledmess
Wow. Just....wow. I guess he gave the pretense of trying to have a conversation before throwing around sex innuendos. I'd have been amused, also. But, you have to admit...it all leads to a little bed play. I guess he was trying to get from point A to point C while by passing point B for the sake of saving time and money....he may need it for his boat. You are such a FOXY lady! =D
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm out of touch,but his "morning after"
ReplyDeletee-mail was way over the top. I think that I might have said this about the toys, "Heavens no, I'm saving them for you. You game?"