She Said... He Said.. W? RUFK

Weekends are always an adventure for the middle age single gal. Weeknights are killers.. we just can't do all nighters like we used to.. though, given the right motivation, we can do an all-nighter with style, grace, and finesse! And this weekend proves that I may be getting older, but, damn!, I still got it.

Mr. Elusive is not so elusive anymore and the smile on my face hopes he continues to stay up front and center. I could give up this whole dating thing for this man.. whew-whee Baby! Invited to dinner, I stayed for breakfast. He has style, he has grace, he has the place for romance. Oddly enough, his place is a lot like mine... And he cooks; baby, can he cook (if you know what I mean)!... and while this is all happening- my, my, MY..., behind the scenes another drama is unfolding.. 


The Zen-Buddhistian, as it turns out, is not so zen-like. This is how it went down.. after playing a bit of phone tag, she said earlier in the day (via email):

this weekend...
..has certainly gotten away from me.. I had some extra time off, but as you know, nature abhors a vacuum. I suppose the fact that it is a holiday weekend doesn't help much. Tonight, as I mentioned, I am committed to a party at a friend's house and tomorrow is Easter with my mom.. I don't know if you work Monday or not, but I'm off if you think you might want to get together during the day to do something.

 And he replied: 

 I don't know what kind of silly game you're playing, but find somebody else to play it with.

Umm, can we say possible date two just bit the dust!?  Did I miss something here? Enlightened guys are pretty spooky and apparently not so enlightened.. which brings me to another question: Why do they wear all those beads? 'dis man has some counting to do...

Oh.. and the Getaway Man sent a text (that I received this morning) telling me:

I know now that I love you

My reply? 

You do not

... interesting timing...

 ~A. Tan Gledmess

Younger Men and Older Women

W?RUFK
 The eternal question for women has always been how old is too old..
but now, the tide has changed. How old is too young? My son tells me that the formula has always been half my age plus 7. I have to tell you, I am still wondering how long  always must be because that certainly was not a rule when I was younger! My daughter tells me that, late bloomer that I am, 1/2 my age + 7 puts the guy in her age range so I need to rethink those numbers! She tells me I should stick to men 4o and above. Hmmmm.... the man I met tonight is 42 and let me tell you (because he surely will!), he is all that and a bag of chips! Kind of cute too..


Mr. 42 is a handy man, in every sense of the word. He will drywall your bedroom, redecorate your bathroom, clean your house (and your clock), as well as ring your bells, mama san.. as long as he also walks away with a check.. cash is better. 
Gotta love a guy with confidence, even if his price is a bit low.. or maybe because...
 





~A. Tan Gledmess


 

Two Dates and a Sleepover.. oh my!

W?RUFK

And what is a girl to do? The Getaway Man is pretty terrific within his range.. what was that song about the guy who left his bag stuffed behind the couch.. Gentle on My Mind!.. ah yes, and  "it's knowing I'm not shackled by forgotten words and bonds and the ink stains that have dried upon some line.. that keeps you ever gentle on my mind". This may well sum up MY feelings about the whole affair.. I have reached the point where it is my freedom that matters.. and Baby, I like it! I am also getting pretty good at not taking this stuff personally.. The sleepover is good. And I am thinking the Getaway Man likes it this way too - no fuss, no muss, like friends with benefits.


In the meantime, I am also still exploring options... lunch dates, dinner dates, future dates, and a bike ride.. (as in motorcycle)! Where to begin... (at the beginning is always the best place)... So.. here goes...

Saturday morning phone call.. "rainy out, but what the heck, let's meet for lunch", he says. His name, aptly enough is "Sunny".. as in sunny days. Seems like a "Sun" might be good for the day, so I am off.. shower, clothing, shoes - all the usual stuff, including that aromatic lotion I like so much. I hit the mall first because I have to exchange something and it is, after all, on the way. And now I am early.. not necessarily a bad thing because I can see him coming and decide if my name is really what he thinks it is (a tad bit devious here). We meet, he's not looking too bad, but me thinks he might be a bit shorter than he proclaimed... he orders a salad. I order a wrap. He is wearing wood beads.. around his neck and his wrists, along with a tree of life ring on one hand.. and a wood ring with a flag design on the other RING finger! Hmmm.. what does this mean? I am amused, but a bit concerned as well. I am in my usual jewelry attire which includes some precious metals and minerals. Not a wood bead kind of gal, you know..

Within minutes, we are discussing Buddha and Karma and all things spiritual. I am thinking about how greater powers respect the covenant I made years ago: I stay out of places of worship and no one has to die in the Apocalypse! What now, Batman (Interrobang, please!)!? Don't get me wrong.. he is a nice man.. respectful, polite, and seems in possession of a sense of humor or irony or something equally enjoyable. I have sneaking suspicion my sarcasm (and I am good at it) is lost on him, but hey.. the dating sites say I need to expand my horizons and not be turned off by the little things.. after all, is this a deal breaker for me? Hmmmm... maybe not.. but..that height thing might be... I am, after all, a rather shallow female and I like my men a tad taller than me.


Lunch progresses, we order non-alcoholic beverages and spend more time sitting and talking than either of us might have if the weather had actually been sunny. Oh, and when we stand up to leave.. he is absolutely NOT 5'9"! He is shorter than me and I am in flats.. this is not good..


Moving on.... 
Saturday night, and I text the elusive bachelor number 2. He has shown some interest for the past few months, but life always seems to get in the way. As it turns out, I am going to be in town.. and a bit closer to his humble abode so I suggest we meet. Stormy weather keeps him from the destination I had in mind, but I'm ok.. having a good time, dinner, drinks, kinship. Life is, after all what you make it. But Sunday arrives and he sends a missive suggesting we meet for drinks! I am ready. He is cute. He is also a bit geeky, like me.. hmmmm... we meet.. drinks.. a walk... dinner (be still my heart, he likes sushi!).. and then ( take a breath here) his place.. and no, not for that.. dare I say Damn?! Wine on the deck, birds on the water, good conversation.. no wood beads, no rings on fingers, he gets my sarcasm, loves talking tech stuff, and is TALL!! I can wear boots with this guy and those, you know know, those ... heels.. . Baby I like It!  - shallow gal that I am.. 


Oh yea.. the motorcycle guy is on hold.. vroom vroom!




~A. Tan Gledmess

The Getaway Man

W?RUFK

Dictionary.com defines Getaway as a getting away or fleeing; an escape, and, indeed, the Getaway man is the guy who cannot get out fast enough.. the morning after. What the hell is that all about??

I met the Getaway Man some time ago.. between the boyfriend and the fiance'.. who, by the way, was the same guy.. and another story. Suffice to say, the Getaway Man was filler.. if you get my drift (and yes, I used to be Snow White - I drifted!). At any rate.. he's cute, he's fun, he has all the right lines, but damn.. that man cannot get out fast enough in the morning.. WTH? (interrobang please!)! One night, he insisted on driving me home... promised a lazy, leisurely, sexy morning... and then a ride to retrieve my car. 

5am.. no alarm.. for goodness sakes, it is Sunday.. and the man is up... yes.. figuratively and literally.. got to love a man like that on the day of worship (oh, baby!)... quick trip to the bathroom... (I thought).. and I hear him shifting chairs in the kitchen and putting on boots.. don't you love a man who wears cowboy boots?! (ooh ooh oooh!)... 
 
All of this would be ok except for one thing.. MY CAR! WTH?? My car is NOT at home and he is supposed to take me to retrieve it.. so, of course, I get out of bed and say.. What the hell?   His response is oh yea.. can you get dressed right now? I need to meet a guy about a job. Seriously?? 

To tell the truth, I am not at my best at this hour of the morning, and I was thinking about some fun.. but hey, I'm a grown up (albeit a foggy one).. so I get dressed.. and we get my car (holy mother of .. well, you know!).

Now one might ask,... why am I out with the Getaway Man.. and I have to admit that I ask myself that question too. I think, though, that in my old age, I have become shallow.. I want a man who is taller than me, a man who is witty, and a man who can make me feel like a woman  and the Getaway Man does do that.. and he does it very well (oh my!)... so.. there I was, Thursday night, the Getaway Man is buying me beer while Eddie is buying me a shot of Glenlivet  and telling me (by God!) I cannot be 1o years older than he is...  

Do I dare say it? Life is good.. and although the guy who never lets the sun rise on his departure is far from the ONE, he is one of a kind and I like it ...

~A Tan Gledmess 

How does this happen? W?RUFK

W? RUFK

Where do I start? At the beginning is always a good spot, but where did it begin? I remember being a teenager and dating - men groping for my boobs, reaching up my thighs, wanting to know what color my panties were. OMG.. how nice it was to settle in with one guy and no longer have to deal with such things! Now, many, many years later.. here I am... men groping for my boobs, feeling up my thighs and asking if I am wearing panties! Jeesh.. it would seem men are in a state of SDD (Stunted Dating Development). Out of the dating scene for 24, 25, 30 years, they still don't know how to approach a girl, how to 'play the game'. How did that happen.. or rather.. how did it NOT happen? Haven't there been blogs aplenty about dating in the new millennium? Aren't there advice columns on such things everywhere? Oprah and Phil! Are you not doing your daytime best to inform the masses?? Are men so hard of hearing? Do we need these snippets as commercials on Spike?

Doing a little research on dating and how to play the game led me to Rodney. He was Bachelor Number 1 on The Dating Game in 1978! He had already been convicted of child molestation in '68.. so if program producers can't tell the sleaze from the supreme.. why should I be able to do this? Amazon, I notice, has a book on display called The Dating Game Book for grade 8 and up.. I wonder if the 50 something guys online should consider reading this. I know after years of dating, I could offer some advice and maybe write the book myself.. but do I want to? Really (where is that interrobang) ?! No way! Match.com, the leading dating site tells me I am free to look but muddies my view with registration info. I can see the link to rev up my love life and the possibility to take a free chemistry test to see if I am well matched as well.. but I have to tell you, I have met my share of creapy guys there.. I wonder if one of them might be related to Rodney! HS! ( I really do need that inerrobang - and HS does NOT stand for high school).

Online dating sites.. and I have tried a few.. give plenty of advice. eHarmony promises to hook me up and does hook me up with 5 Dating Rules You Should Never Break. Don't play games is number 4.. which only means that the new game is I don't play games.. I am honestly interested in you, but first we need to have sex. Number 5 is Game Over.. but wait.. if I am not playing, how can it be over?? HS, I am soo confused! Facebook has Zoosk (for a small fee if you are serious), and Perfect Match will support the disaster relief in Japan. One would think that with all these choices, a woman could find a man who was human, had a heart, and could learn to control those animal urges long enough to learn our names.

So.. enough.. onward and forward with Adventures in Real Life Dating! I promise to tell the truth (and nothing but) and to withhold my RB...(see my first post for a clue as to what that means). First Dates after Fifty or Fifty First Dates.. Adventures in Dating is my choice, but you choose. My goal is to have fun, meet men, and see where the lack of a defining relationship can take a gal in 2011! The First date was posted.. on to date 2


~A Tan Gledmess

W?RUFK

Adventures in dating... part I

Don't get me wrong, this is not and has not been the first date of my single life. I have been single a long time after a marriage of only 11 long years. During my single years I made a conscious decision to be the dating mom rather than Mom the Madonna .. and no, not the pointy chest one.. she was not in my radar range during those first years.. but I digress. I promised you an adventure, so here goes...

Date one was initiated by one of us. I am no longer exactly clear on who made the first move. For a number of months, I have been perusing a dating site called Plenty of Fish.. fishing, if you will pardon the pun, for a date or two. I mean, really - where does one meet single men these days? It is 2011 after all. Bars are out and the comfort of my own home and computer is in. I can drink and not drive, and besides, this is one way to see if the man can spell, use punctuation, and share a coherent thought in writing. Mr SC can do all of those things, and I have to say this is pretty impressive on a site that lets you score for free.

We wrote some snippets back and forth, exchanged phone numbers. I discovered he had a FB page; I did not friend him. I was able, however, to discover we had a mutual friend! Another woman. My inquiry as to how he knew this person led to full disclosure: they had been lovers! OH OH OH.. was I brazen enough to email her and find out, as he professed, that he was indeed a great and grand lover?(Interrobang - please!)? A man in touch (his words not mine) with the needs of a woman?! HS! I have to wonder if there are books with pick up lines like this one... I did not send an inquiry, but no doubt a chance meeting later will lead to a discussion on this!

We agreed to meet for drinks the next cold evening. Seems he has a boat and prefers to spend the night there when the temps are not too cold.. a little clue to a man of means without having to ask for the resume and bank statement up front. Nice. Two days later, an email.. am I available? Phone calls are so last decade, you know?

Eight pm.. drive to a mutually agreeable place. Flatterer that he is, I am informed I look better than my pics and he is getting a rise from our meeting (be still my heart!) and what would I think about moving the conversation to my place/his place/any place with a bed(interrobang please!)!?. I, being of sound mind and temperament, take this as the compliment it is intended to be, endure a monologue on women's attitudes toward sex that have been programmed for centuries, smile and nod as I am expected to, and ask (politely): does this work? Does telling a woman all these things actually get them to go to bed with you on the first date?? (um, no - he says). I smile and suggest a new schtick might be called for here.. hmmmm

And, we move on.. me to my car and he to his.. after some mild groping in the parking lot (involving the apex of my thighs), HS!, I enter the vehicle (my own.. duh!) and realize that I have now reached the age where I am amused rather than offended! When did THAT happen (interrobang please!)!? I am actually on the verge of a chuckle.. and yet, still glad I have been getting to the gym! If I am going to get groped, I may as well feel firm - you know what I mean?

It seems that today, it is important to know if one is sexually compatible before embarking on getting to know one another.. after all, what would be the point of spending all that time learning about one another if we end up lousy in bed? And silly me.. I wonder how this is different than the spiel I heard at 17.. oh yea, better vocabulary!

At this point I fully prepared.. this is the end of this dating adventure . But no.. silly me.. my morning email says...  

Did toys get played with last night?

Enjoyed your company

Um, gee.. can I ignore this too? Sure I can! The man has a boat! My response is polite and bit demure (check out definition 2)... and now the end must be near, after all, this is a man of power and influence and I am not getting it... but NO! Another email - 2 days later- and he wants to know... 

Are we in a consummating mood tonight? 

um.. well.. gee... Really?! Shall I tell you what I did next or can you guess!?

~A Tan Gledmess 

Banned In Michigan..

 W? RUFK!?

Raging Bitch is banned in Michigan.. what will I do now? Where will I go? And I doomed to stay here in Maryland? And, I soooo love the cold (not!).. but wait.. Hell is in Michigan? How is it that I can go to Hell but not have a raging bitch? or be one? Are there men there? Men I want to date? Men who will want to date me? Ah, the adventures of the middle age vixen... so many men, so little time.

My initial thought was to title this 50 first dates, but that was already taken.. not a bad movie either.. so I settled in for Banned in Michigan... because after a number of bad dates, I could be a raging bitch. I am middle aged and back in the dating pool. I no longer know if suits are optional, required or requested and am not sure I care. Do I need a cover up? And what is my sign? 

Follow me for the dating adventures of a lifetime. Live vicariously and dangerously as I date and dodge the men in the pool. In some ways, I miss the bliss of the 70's and early 80's when diseases were all curable with penicillin. Ignorance was bliss and still is, despite the fact that ignoramuses are still alive and flourishing. Damn technology.. Darwin's theory has been overcome by machines and madmen!

Let the Adventures in Dating begin.. I promise to keep you informed and entertained.. beginning with date 1... which happened last Tuesday.


A Tan Gledmess